The story goes like this: Many, many years ago Dan and I were in Kiel visiting my good friend Bret. While we were there, it turned out that his partner's mother ran a local jeweler's; better yet, his sister-in-law ran a small artisanal jewelry store in Hamburg. We bought matching rings, very simple silver, with the word 'Liebe' inside of them. I wound up not wearing it very often because it was just too chunky to be comfortable. Eventually, I removed it (and my watch) while working in the wine cellar in our old house in San José, put it in a trash can for safekeeping (don't ask), and then someone else took out the trash. End of ring.
Many years later - six years ago this week - Dan and I were married in Multnomah County, Oregon. I still didn't wear a ring at that time: it just seemed like a bother. Eventually, though, I decided that yes, I needed to find a replacement. I found some ring sizers online - fit's important! - and then ordered a stock 6mm wedding band (gold, natch) from Costco.
It's not romantic. It wasn't hand-made by an artisan in Hamburg. It's entirely devoid of any kind of ornament or filigree. It's moderately beat up; I seldom take it off of my finger.
I like this ring because it's entirely straightforward. I am married. This is why I wear this ring. In many ways it's incidental to who I am as a person, and yet of course the fact that I am married has everything to do with who I am as a person. Sixteen years on, I still carry Dan with me in my heart; it's just that there's also this small, visible sign of it on my left ring finger as well.
