What's the story behind your LJ user name?
-- See my birth certificate.
Name Five  of your favorite pig-out foods.
-- The only one I'll cop to would be baloney sandwiches with too much mayo, which I haven't had since the 1980s.
Have you ever had a make-over?
-- Are you high?
Name all the members of the Beatles.
-- Bob, Grant, and Greg.
What's the longest time you've stayed out of the country and where?
-- 1985-1986 in Germany.
One thing you're grateful for today.
-- Pantene, without which I wouldn't be the prettiest Bear in the shire.
What is your favorite high school memory?
-- Hard to say. Prom night with Erin, trying to crash the Esalen hot tubs, a weekend at Yosemite...
What's the most insane thing you've done for/to your crush that he/she might not/might know about?
-- I am so not answering this question.
Describe your dream wedding.
-- Dunno. One where I accidentally receive all the presents, even though I'm not getting married? Either that or it would be at the Islander in Stockton, CA, with lots of tropical drinks and pupu platters, &c.
Would you ever join temptation island?
-- Sure, but only as a pinball machine repairman or something equally oblique.
Name three  teachers you had in high school/elementary.
-- This question is, like, way retarded. Bob Henderson. Bob Klevan. Bob... I don't think there were any other Bobs. John Senuta.
Do you have a favorite quote? What is it?
-- Love came into the world with loneliness. (c/o the Oakland Museum. Check it out.)
My first heartbreak happened when I was:
-- Too young to know any better.
The school picture your buried in the bottom of your drawer?
-- Oh, they're fine, actually. I especially like the one of me in jazz band, if only because it's hard for other folks to believe.
Do you have any weird preferences? What are they?
-- I don't like badly folded paper. I blame a bout of origami mania in the late 1970s.
What is one thing you will never understand about the opposite sex?
-- Panty liners designed specifically for G-strings.
Who's your best friend?
-- You! Yes, you are! It's you! Awwwww!
Name one TV character you'd like to be.
Uh. Whatever Rachel Griffith's character is called on Six Feet Under.
If you were famous, and were to be a guest on a talk show, whose show would you choose? Why?
Easy. That would of course be TV Total with Stefan Raab, if only because he's obviously coked to the gills, and because I'd want to show off my mad German skillz.
Give yourself a porn star name.
-- Christopher Pratt.
Do you have any weird sleep habits?
-- I enjoy going to bed at a reasonable time, and I like to get up around sunrise. This is weird, what with my being a software engineer and all.
What do you plan to do this summer?
-- I plan on not having a summer until 2003, thereby obviating this question entirely. Psych!
What is your favorite song right now?
-- Don't have one, for once. Maybe, just maybe, Meg Ryan.
Write a line from any song.
-- If you ever thought to calm down / Come down and see me / It's now I need you /And never an unkind word need be said / About your life overhead
Do you know at least one Disney song by heart? Which one?
-- Are you fuckin' kidding me?
Describe your dream house.
-- I already own it, thankfully. It would be even better if the kitchen were clean, but I'm not complaining. Oh, and the toilet needs replacing. Honest.
Your typical sleepwear.
-- Underwear. Practical, cheap, &c. Nightshirts look cool 'n retro but they're just too hard to sleep in.
What's in your bag?
-- Which one? There's the shoe bag, the dirty clothes bag... and a bunch of plastic bins with various kinds of cruft in them. Tucker box, camping box, big bag with tent, chairs, etc. My backpack's got a Platypus bag in it, with rainwater. Is that the one you were after?
What's in your wallet?
-- Wallety stuff.
How much money do you have in your wallet right now?
What is your favorite pair of shoes?
-- The steel toed shoes, size 47, that I bought at the Daimler factory in Sindelfingen. They last about six years before I finally had to throw them out. Used to have 'em shined next to the Payless near Piedmont, in Oakland, CA.
If you could've gone to your senior prom in a different outfit, what would it be?
-- I had the best outfit ever, sorry. A friend who'd graduated before I did, well, she gave me her newly deceased uncle's tux, which was a curious midnight blue color. I kept it for about another ten years before deciding I'd never need wear a tux again.
How was your senior prom?
-- Ask me about the phrase "Compare our milk prices!", or about a fine piece of modern literature entitled "Let's Do Mom!" and I'll tell you anything else you're curious about. It was a wonderful night, save for the asshole who dosed this one guy at the illegal after-prom party in Pebble Beach.
Tell us about any of your birthdays.
-- Oddly enough, they're always on the same date. Go figure!
Hobbit, elf or Dwarf?
-- Elf, because I'm the prettiest. Go me!
First five things you would splurge on if you were a billionaire:
-- Pay off the mortgage, buy a case of DRC for Dad, buy a flat in London for my family, buy a house in San Diego for my family... and probably organize a really, really long vacation to Central Asia.
What is your daily before bed ritual?
-- Don't have one, actually.
What is the weirdest/funniest nickname somebody has ever called you?
-- You assume I had one. Folks typically called me Bear until I thought it was just a little too cliche.
Name three of your favorite cartoon characters.
-- Did I mention that I really don't like cartoons? Other than reading too much Richie Rich at the hated piano teacher's place, I never bought one with my own money. Oh. Wait. Just remembered. I do have some Chris Ware and Dan Clowes books that I enjoy very much.