To make things worse, there are literally hundreds of Bears in the city right now. It´s really pushed my anxiety levels to a very uncomfortable level to boot. Don´t know why, but I feel like I have to leave immediately any time someone gives me That Knowing Look. I ran back to the room to hide and take some more medicine for my back while Dan soldiered on and joined up with the Bear Walk at two o´clock.
Sigh. I wonder if I´ll ever feel normal at these things. I suppose that as an onlooker I´ve always wanted to be a part of this group of handsome furry Bruins, but at the same time I know from experience that I most definitely do not fit in; talking to most anyone at these events proves that I am either totally incompetent at basic social neutral conversation or that most folks find they have absolutely nothing to say to me.
When I look at my friends, I find it incredible that I ever got to know them as friends in the first place. Go figure.