June 29th, 2005


I think my brain is about to hemorrhage

I just started writing my annual performance review for Microsoft.

This has got to be the most brain dead piece of shit I'll write all year.

You'd think that at some point corporations would give up on excessively long winded review forms, and just keep things simple: Did you do your job? What did you do especially well? Were your customers satisfied?

But no. Instead, I'm supposed to identify exactly which Microsoft values and core competencies I express while doing individual tasks. This is of course absurd: I didn't think about "passion" or "self-critical" while I wrote up more bug reports than anyone else in my department; I just did it because it's what I'm paid to do. I wasn't thinking about "big challenges" or "accountable" when I shipped Pocket MSN; I just know how to ship great software, and I did.

So, off I go to generate a 100% buzzword enabled, totally content-free document that in theory will be used to decide whether or not I get raise, but in practice is of course totally irrelevant, as it's about 95% likely that question has already been answered prior to me writing this document.

I think I'll be applying for this...

Just got off of the phone with the Central Washington University - they've got a Wine Trade Professional Certificate course starting in January, 2006, and it sure sounds like a good first step towards changing careers. Although I'm doing a pretty damn good job as a software test engineer [if I do say so myself], I can't help but think I'd contribute an awful lot more to the world as, say, a winemaker or marketing exec.

Here's hoping I [a] am accepted into the program, [b] the course times are ones I can make without quitting my job, [c] I can find a cheap place to stay in Ellensburg, and [d] this might actually lead to interesting work somewhere down the line!