February 20th, 2004

Atacama

How is a Bear to go about marrying his marmot?

How do I go about marrying Dan? Do I have to propose to him or something? Ask his father for his hand in marriage? Does he have to ask my Dad? Or both my parents? Or neither?

Do we go to Vancouver or San Francisco? Is one better than the other? Given the DOMA, should we even bother?

Is it cool if we get the rings first? Do we get to have a wedding reception a few weeks later on at Salmonberg? How big and expensive does it have to be? Can it just be friends, family, co-workers, a bunch of snacks, a keg? Cava? Costco appetizers? Or do I have to involve caterers at huge expense?

What if we don't actually want any presents? What if we wouldn't mind even more wine, or maybe some frost tolerant plants?

If we do go to San Francisco, are we going to need witnesses? If so, is Brian Smith going to be available? Do I have to, like, rent a tux or something? Is it tacky for me to get married wearing jeans and a T-shirt? Wescos? Sneakers? Corduroy?

Do we get to have a honeymoon? If so, maybe South Africa or Chile? We don't have to rent one of those ugly-ass red heart-shaped bathtubs in Niagara, do we?

How do we refer to ourselves? Do I introduce Dan as my husband? Do I have to call myself Mr. McKean? Is Dan Mr. Pratt? Are we the Pratt-McKeanses or the McKean-Pratts?

Maybe we can even get a discount on our car insurance, or, at the very least, get to eat at Walzwerk after the ceremony?

Can have have some carrot cake from that bakery in Bolinas just like Kim and Charlie? Maybe Skylar can read a poem at the ceremony? I know I'll never be as beautiful as Kim but wouldn't it be cool if I could look especially handsome just for one day... maybe find a corduroy jacket with elbow patches and a pair of glasses for that professorial look? And can we have smoked salmon-y nibbly things and Champagne?

So many questions...